The University of Washington studied 2,000 couples for 20 years. They found that during conflict the vast majority of wives criticized and complained. Why? She cares. As I say, women confront because they care. They don’t confront to control. For example, it’s not a turn-on to a woman to control her husband. Instead, she confronts, criticizes, and complains to resolve what concerns her. Her goal is to experience an emotional connection which is fundamental to intimacy. But there is no one in his life who talks to him the way she does. He feels put down. He feels that she is using the topic over which they have conflict as an opportunity to send him a message that she doesn’t like who he is as a person. The researchers asked him what he feels when she criticizes and complains. He voiced, “I feel ongoing criticism is contempt for who I am as a human being.” So, she seeks to do the caring thing but he interprets her as contemptuous. She does the loving thing but he labels her disrespectful. #emersoneggerichs #christiantiktok #marriage #loveandrespect #marriageadvice #wife #husband