skyrhimusic
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Starting in October, I started experiencing chronic pain in my body. I chocked it up to three months of hitting the gym every day and needing some rest. However, I only got worse as the month went on. I set on a path to sort out what was causing this pain, the working theory is hEDS, a hyper mobile connective tissue disorder.
I saw the specialist who confirmed that I most likely have hEDS on Tuesday October 25th. The next day I woke up in more pain than I have ever experienced.
“Push through it” is something I repeat to myself a lot. This day I was sobbing through those words as tried to continue on with my day. When I couldn’t even keep water down, I started to worry. I was afraid to ask for help, as I was living in a very toxic household environment where I felt as though I wasn’t allowed to “cause problems.” I worried that my sickness would be seen as attention seeking, and I didn’t want to cause trouble.
I eventually called an ambulance because I couldn’t bare the pain any longer and my cat looked so scared I figured he must smell something. Turns out, I was in the early stages of septic shock from a severe kidney infection. I was about 24-48 hours away from death and complete organ failure.
Sepsis has a tendency to uncover or accelerate any underlying conditions. The infection ate through the tissue in my joints, especially my ribcage and shoulders. I cannot function without a rib brace, and my joints constantly sublux and dislocate. My energy levels are destroyed, I live on pain medications, and I’m learning to navigate new PTSD symptoms from the whole experience.
My body was returned to me, but not my mind or my soul. It feels as though they’re trapped behind ice, and I have to simply wait for time to thaw them free. All I seem to have the ability to do is sleep and process what happened to me through cryptic works of art I sometimes struggle to make sense of.
#chronicillness #sepsissurvivor #ehlersdanlos #actuallyautistic #adhdinwomen #independentartist #neardeathexperences
I saw the specialist who confirmed that I most likely have hEDS on Tuesday October 25th. The next day I woke up in more pain than I have ever experienced.
“Push through it” is something I repeat to myself a lot. This day I was sobbing through those words as tried to continue on with my day. When I couldn’t even keep water down, I started to worry. I was afraid to ask for help, as I was living in a very toxic household environment where I felt as though I wasn’t allowed to “cause problems.” I worried that my sickness would be seen as attention seeking, and I didn’t want to cause trouble.
I eventually called an ambulance because I couldn’t bare the pain any longer and my cat looked so scared I figured he must smell something. Turns out, I was in the early stages of septic shock from a severe kidney infection. I was about 24-48 hours away from death and complete organ failure.
Sepsis has a tendency to uncover or accelerate any underlying conditions. The infection ate through the tissue in my joints, especially my ribcage and shoulders. I cannot function without a rib brace, and my joints constantly sublux and dislocate. My energy levels are destroyed, I live on pain medications, and I’m learning to navigate new PTSD symptoms from the whole experience.
My body was returned to me, but not my mind or my soul. It feels as though they’re trapped behind ice, and I have to simply wait for time to thaw them free. All I seem to have the ability to do is sleep and process what happened to me through cryptic works of art I sometimes struggle to make sense of.
#chronicillness #sepsissurvivor #ehlersdanlos #actuallyautistic #adhdinwomen #independentartist #neardeathexperences
I’m safe and with good people now, but restarting my life like this has been the most difficult experience of my life. I haven’t been myself for a long time. Thank you all for sticking by me through this, right now the biggest hurdle I face daily is chronic pain. My ribs are where I’m experiencing the most joint instability and it hurts so damn bad. I’m still creating tho, and in the new year I’ll be announcing a new project I’m really excited to share with you #ehlersdanlos #sepsissurvivor #sepsisawareness #chronicillness #actuallyautistic #adhdinwomen #ehlersdanlossyndrome
