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Daily Snark 6/6/23: Hunter Biden, Motivational Speaker
I love Hunter Biden.
Mostly because I'm not him, but the dude has lived an interesting life.
(To say the least.)
I'm honestly not sure why Republicans are mad at him.
Was he given unjust positions of power in corporations who wanted access to his dad?
Yes.
Did Trump do the exact same thing with Don Jr., Ivanka, Jared, and Eric?
Yes.
Does EVERY person with power help their kids?
(Hint: Google "nepo babies, Hollywood." Yes. Foot-in-the-door access is something granted to all children of wealth.)
So who cares?
I love the Hunter Biden laptop story, but not because of the conspiracies, media nonsense, or coverups. No. I love the actual laptop.
10,000 photos of Hunter in very compromising positions were just released to the internet, and they are glorious. There's drug use, rampant nudity, and more selfies than your average seventeen-year-old girl takes.
I don't think Hunter should be condemned for his actions, I think he should be celebrated. And, and this is controversial, I think he should be speaking to young people. Yes, the youth of today.
I've previously said that given Hunter's history with women—he has an impressive past when it comes to relationships—he could help INCELS overcome whatever shortcomings they have, clean them up, and get them out of the basement and into the world to meet women.
Well, as stated in the video, I'm doubling down on my assertion that Hunter Biden would make a great motivational speaker, because he practices responsible, safe sex.
Sometimes.
I mean, not every time, no.
But sometimes.
And isn't that a good message for the kids?
#motivational #teenagers #darkhumour #funny #education #safe
I love Hunter Biden.
Mostly because I'm not him, but the dude has lived an interesting life.
(To say the least.)
I'm honestly not sure why Republicans are mad at him.
Was he given unjust positions of power in corporations who wanted access to his dad?
Yes.
Did Trump do the exact same thing with Don Jr., Ivanka, Jared, and Eric?
Yes.
Does EVERY person with power help their kids?
(Hint: Google "nepo babies, Hollywood." Yes. Foot-in-the-door access is something granted to all children of wealth.)
So who cares?
I love the Hunter Biden laptop story, but not because of the conspiracies, media nonsense, or coverups. No. I love the actual laptop.
10,000 photos of Hunter in very compromising positions were just released to the internet, and they are glorious. There's drug use, rampant nudity, and more selfies than your average seventeen-year-old girl takes.
I don't think Hunter should be condemned for his actions, I think he should be celebrated. And, and this is controversial, I think he should be speaking to young people. Yes, the youth of today.
I've previously said that given Hunter's history with women—he has an impressive past when it comes to relationships—he could help INCELS overcome whatever shortcomings they have, clean them up, and get them out of the basement and into the world to meet women.
Well, as stated in the video, I'm doubling down on my assertion that Hunter Biden would make a great motivational speaker, because he practices responsible, safe sex.
Sometimes.
I mean, not every time, no.
But sometimes.
And isn't that a good message for the kids?
#motivational #teenagers #darkhumour #funny #education #safe
Daily Snark 6/5/23: A Question About Clothes
“Clothes maketh the man.”
This is a modern translation of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, where Polonius tells Laertes (his son), “Apparel oft proclaims the man.”
If we are to assume this statement true, that clothes do represent who we are as a person, then it begs the question: do people dress to show who their inner self is, or does their inner self come out when they put on certain clothes?
I ask because I’ve been having an exceedingly lucky spring. And by “lucky,” I mean absolutely not lucky. I’ve been in two accidents in the past couple months. One involved two cars (mine and another), and one involved a cyclist who has never seen The Kingsman.
(Because he didn’t subscribe to the saying, “Manners maketh man.”)
As the video explains, one person was dressed like a normal human being, while the other was dressed in an outfit. The person dressed normally acted normally; he was kind, and decent. The person dressed in an outfit was someone who will have a funeral that is sparsely attended, with those who do show up probably only doing so in order to spit on his grave.
Anyway, I have thoughts, so I ask questions. Let’s hear some answers in the comment section.
#clothes #bike #question #thoughts #life
“Clothes maketh the man.”
This is a modern translation of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, where Polonius tells Laertes (his son), “Apparel oft proclaims the man.”
If we are to assume this statement true, that clothes do represent who we are as a person, then it begs the question: do people dress to show who their inner self is, or does their inner self come out when they put on certain clothes?
I ask because I’ve been having an exceedingly lucky spring. And by “lucky,” I mean absolutely not lucky. I’ve been in two accidents in the past couple months. One involved two cars (mine and another), and one involved a cyclist who has never seen The Kingsman.
(Because he didn’t subscribe to the saying, “Manners maketh man.”)
As the video explains, one person was dressed like a normal human being, while the other was dressed in an outfit. The person dressed normally acted normally; he was kind, and decent. The person dressed in an outfit was someone who will have a funeral that is sparsely attended, with those who do show up probably only doing so in order to spit on his grave.
Anyway, I have thoughts, so I ask questions. Let’s hear some answers in the comment section.
#clothes #bike #question #thoughts #life
Silly & Stupid Sunday Post: Screenshots
Everyone has hit pause on their television and caught the person on screen at the moment making an awkward face.
It's amazing how often people look like they're mid-sneeze when simply talking.
Well, I catch myself looking stupid (er than normal) quite often, because I caption my own videos.
A little while ago, I decided to screenshot some of these "well would you look at that?" moments, and for no reason other than some people might find it amusing and enjoy a giggle at my expense, I've turned those pictures (of you) into this nonsensical reel.
I hope you smile.
#face #amusing #silly #screenshot #self
Everyone has hit pause on their television and caught the person on screen at the moment making an awkward face.
It's amazing how often people look like they're mid-sneeze when simply talking.
Well, I catch myself looking stupid (er than normal) quite often, because I caption my own videos.
A little while ago, I decided to screenshot some of these "well would you look at that?" moments, and for no reason other than some people might find it amusing and enjoy a giggle at my expense, I've turned those pictures (of you) into this nonsensical reel.
I hope you smile.
#face #amusing #silly #screenshot #self
Daily Snark 6/3/23, Air Travel & Obesity
Let's be honest, flying blows.
Every major airline crams passengers in like cattle, because it's not about comfort, it's about profit. They are businesses, and point A to point B is the goal, not wining, dining, and caring for people.
(Unless you're flying first class, but such luxuries are for the elite, not we laymen.)
Every so often, however, a game changer appears.
Sometimes they disrupt the system by attacking price—think Southwest—sometimes they believe people want a better, more comfortable experience.
(Possibly JetBlue, with it's extra leg room.)
Enter a new wrinkle to the system:
Air New Zealand.
Air New Zealand is focusing on something many a comedian has gotten a laugh from: the extra large passenger.
You've heard jokes about having to sit someone too big for their seat, well, Air New Zealand has implemented a policy of having travelers weigh themselves before boarding a plane.
Is this an attack on the body positive movement? Is it fat shaming?
Or, has New Zealand kept a watchful eye on the United States and said, "Not here!" when it comes to soaring health care costs due to poor lifestyle choices?
OR (now emphasized), is it neither of those things?
Tune in to find out if a nation (and business) is willing to stand up to safe spaces, the "accept everyone exactly as they are" bullies, and have an open and honest discussion about weight and health.
Find me here: https://nathantimmel.com/
#newzealand #travel #darkhumour #sarcasm #obesity
Let's be honest, flying blows.
Every major airline crams passengers in like cattle, because it's not about comfort, it's about profit. They are businesses, and point A to point B is the goal, not wining, dining, and caring for people.
(Unless you're flying first class, but such luxuries are for the elite, not we laymen.)
Every so often, however, a game changer appears.
Sometimes they disrupt the system by attacking price—think Southwest—sometimes they believe people want a better, more comfortable experience.
(Possibly JetBlue, with it's extra leg room.)
Enter a new wrinkle to the system:
Air New Zealand.
Air New Zealand is focusing on something many a comedian has gotten a laugh from: the extra large passenger.
You've heard jokes about having to sit someone too big for their seat, well, Air New Zealand has implemented a policy of having travelers weigh themselves before boarding a plane.
Is this an attack on the body positive movement? Is it fat shaming?
Or, has New Zealand kept a watchful eye on the United States and said, "Not here!" when it comes to soaring health care costs due to poor lifestyle choices?
OR (now emphasized), is it neither of those things?
Tune in to find out if a nation (and business) is willing to stand up to safe spaces, the "accept everyone exactly as they are" bullies, and have an open and honest discussion about weight and health.
Find me here: https://nathantimmel.com/
#newzealand #travel #darkhumour #sarcasm #obesity
Daily Snark 6/2/23
Marriage means forever.
Or, at least that's what we tell one another when taking our vows.
All too often, the love that was once shared becomes a burden.
The butterflies in your tummy disappear, and when it's time to put in the hard work of a real relationship, one (or both) parties isn't ready, willing, or interested in such effort.
They want to go chase more feelings of "new," and "fresh."
It seems to happen a lot with celebrities; they rarely take the time to self-reflect and study their inner workings, they just leapfrog from partner to partner, pretending they've matured along the way.
But I digress...
Divorce is hard, but especially so when kids are involved.
Children generally want their parents to remain married forever; husband and wife, mom and dad, structure.
Well, life happens (and it gets in the way of your plans and best intentions, or so I've heard), and thus it becomes time to explain to your offspring that while they are still loved, the union of the parents is no longer working.
My daughter has had three of her friends experience divorce recently, and she asked me about the process and situation.
We had a nice talk, and I didn't say anything close to what I've put in this video.
Wait, what?
I didn't actually say what the video proclaims?
Nope.
But, what's in the video is funnier.
Plus, all these words are just for the algorithm. No one reads this nonsense.
Find me at https://nathantimmel.com/
#marriage #divorce #relationship #breakup #parenting #therapy
Marriage means forever.
Or, at least that's what we tell one another when taking our vows.
All too often, the love that was once shared becomes a burden.
The butterflies in your tummy disappear, and when it's time to put in the hard work of a real relationship, one (or both) parties isn't ready, willing, or interested in such effort.
They want to go chase more feelings of "new," and "fresh."
It seems to happen a lot with celebrities; they rarely take the time to self-reflect and study their inner workings, they just leapfrog from partner to partner, pretending they've matured along the way.
But I digress...
Divorce is hard, but especially so when kids are involved.
Children generally want their parents to remain married forever; husband and wife, mom and dad, structure.
Well, life happens (and it gets in the way of your plans and best intentions, or so I've heard), and thus it becomes time to explain to your offspring that while they are still loved, the union of the parents is no longer working.
My daughter has had three of her friends experience divorce recently, and she asked me about the process and situation.
We had a nice talk, and I didn't say anything close to what I've put in this video.
Wait, what?
I didn't actually say what the video proclaims?
Nope.
But, what's in the video is funnier.
Plus, all these words are just for the algorithm. No one reads this nonsense.
Find me at https://nathantimmel.com/
#marriage #divorce #relationship #breakup #parenting #therapy
Daily Snark 6/1/23 The IRS and Your Money
Beyonce is in the news, because she is a powerful, strong, fighter.
The IRS handed her a tax bill for $2.6 million, and she said, "Nope! I'm fighting this in court."
Lawyers are now involved, and I couldn't be happier.
There's nothing like seeing the super-wealthy fight the government, something the general public, we little people, can't do.
As I type, Republicans are decrying the fact that the Biden budget had earmarked billions in funding for the IRS, so the woefully understaffed organization that uses outdated equipment could finally take on rich people who use loopholes in order to hide assets.
Well, Speaker of the House McCarthy tried to put an end to that.
Politicians take money from wealthy individuals and corporations to do their bidding, then sell their policies to the poor and middle class by saying, "I'm doing this for you!"
It's all a lie, it's all a game, and it's all sad-funny.
I suppose some people out there get angry, but not me.
I'm too old, too jaded, and too apathetic.
I prefer to play with hypocrisy, and absurdity.
I hope you. enjoy the nonsense I spew.
Find me here: https://nathantimmel.com/
#news #taxes #government #irs #facts
Beyonce is in the news, because she is a powerful, strong, fighter.
The IRS handed her a tax bill for $2.6 million, and she said, "Nope! I'm fighting this in court."
Lawyers are now involved, and I couldn't be happier.
There's nothing like seeing the super-wealthy fight the government, something the general public, we little people, can't do.
As I type, Republicans are decrying the fact that the Biden budget had earmarked billions in funding for the IRS, so the woefully understaffed organization that uses outdated equipment could finally take on rich people who use loopholes in order to hide assets.
Well, Speaker of the House McCarthy tried to put an end to that.
Politicians take money from wealthy individuals and corporations to do their bidding, then sell their policies to the poor and middle class by saying, "I'm doing this for you!"
It's all a lie, it's all a game, and it's all sad-funny.
I suppose some people out there get angry, but not me.
I'm too old, too jaded, and too apathetic.
I prefer to play with hypocrisy, and absurdity.
I hope you. enjoy the nonsense I spew.
Find me here: https://nathantimmel.com/
#news #taxes #government #irs #facts
Stupid News Update: Helping a Murderer.
There is a very high probability that Bryan Kohberger is a murderer.
I can't call him a murderer, because lawsuits, innocent until proven guilty, yada-yada-yada...
But, he has been charged in the November 13 killings of University of Idaho students Kaylee Goncalves, age 21, Madison Mogen, also 21, Xana Kernodle, 20, and Ethan Chapin, also 20, in an off-campus home in Moscow, Idaho.
Apparently, Judge John Judge (what are the chances of that name happening?) entered a not guilty plea for Kohberger, who is (was) a graduate student in the Department of Criminology at Washington State University.
This is so confusing.
Wouldn't a guilty plea have solved everything?
Give an alleged murderer his due. Give him Old Sparky, the famous nickname given to most electric chairs.
(I can't believe I have to say "allegedly." But, I guess Joran van der Sloot gets the title, too, because no one can prove he murdered Natalie Holloway.)
Come on, America.
Do better.
#news #darkhumour #thoughts #funny #crime #truecrime
There is a very high probability that Bryan Kohberger is a murderer.
I can't call him a murderer, because lawsuits, innocent until proven guilty, yada-yada-yada...
But, he has been charged in the November 13 killings of University of Idaho students Kaylee Goncalves, age 21, Madison Mogen, also 21, Xana Kernodle, 20, and Ethan Chapin, also 20, in an off-campus home in Moscow, Idaho.
Apparently, Judge John Judge (what are the chances of that name happening?) entered a not guilty plea for Kohberger, who is (was) a graduate student in the Department of Criminology at Washington State University.
This is so confusing.
Wouldn't a guilty plea have solved everything?
Give an alleged murderer his due. Give him Old Sparky, the famous nickname given to most electric chairs.
(I can't believe I have to say "allegedly." But, I guess Joran van der Sloot gets the title, too, because no one can prove he murdered Natalie Holloway.)
Come on, America.
Do better.
#news #darkhumour #thoughts #funny #crime #truecrime
Penny Pinching... Big Savings at the Grocery Store
Inflation is out of control.
Gas prices, the cost of food at the grocery store, rent... everything has gone insane, and if you're a cultist, you blame one political party over the other.
Thankfully, there are always sale prices to help ease the burden on your paycheck.
When you buy something that's been marked down, the savings can go right back into your bank account, or be earmarked for other bills you may have.
(Auto loan, mortgage, daycare.)
I know I'm just a lowly comedian, but if I can help you save money, then I'm here to do what I can.
I found this little bargain while shopping at a Fareway in Iowa.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and at these prices, how could you pass them up?
A bargain, I tell you.
Nothing short of a bargain.
#inflation #apple #shopping #groceries #save #money
Inflation is out of control.
Gas prices, the cost of food at the grocery store, rent... everything has gone insane, and if you're a cultist, you blame one political party over the other.
Thankfully, there are always sale prices to help ease the burden on your paycheck.
When you buy something that's been marked down, the savings can go right back into your bank account, or be earmarked for other bills you may have.
(Auto loan, mortgage, daycare.)
I know I'm just a lowly comedian, but if I can help you save money, then I'm here to do what I can.
I found this little bargain while shopping at a Fareway in Iowa.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and at these prices, how could you pass them up?
A bargain, I tell you.
Nothing short of a bargain.
#inflation #apple #shopping #groceries #save #money
Laughter is Healing, Memorial Day Repost
"All gave some, some gave all."
Memorial Day is a holiday marred by mattress sales, but it is founded in remembrance of the fallen.
The men and women of the United States Armed Forces are our first line of defense. They are the best of us, and take on a role all too many of us do not, that of the protector.
They protect our free speech, even when politicians go after our words.
They protect our rights, even as rights are legislated away in the name of religion (on the right) or sensitivity (on the left).
Our leaders send thousands into battle, and hundreds do not return home to their loved ones.
Thankfully, this happens less often in modern times, but The Greatest Generation suffered loss mightily in World War II.
Veterans of both Korea and Vietnam saw loss, as did those involved in the first Gulf War.
Whatever your thoughts on war or politics, the uniform is worn by a person.
A mother, father, brother or sister.
Someone who was loved, and missed.
We should honor and remember them daily, but especially so today.
Sometimes words ring hollow, but when I tell a member of the military, "Thank you for your service," I mean it.
Having had the fortune to be on MWR—Morale, Welfare, and Recreation—tours in countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Qatar, Japan, South Korea, Guam, and Germany, was humbling.
Heartfelt conversations, the simple human contact of shaking hands, and even the awkward salute... they all are acknowledgement of sacrifice; the being far from family and loved ones.
Today is a painful reminder that not everyone comes home.
#memorialday #military #respect #honor #life #love
"All gave some, some gave all."
Memorial Day is a holiday marred by mattress sales, but it is founded in remembrance of the fallen.
The men and women of the United States Armed Forces are our first line of defense. They are the best of us, and take on a role all too many of us do not, that of the protector.
They protect our free speech, even when politicians go after our words.
They protect our rights, even as rights are legislated away in the name of religion (on the right) or sensitivity (on the left).
Our leaders send thousands into battle, and hundreds do not return home to their loved ones.
Thankfully, this happens less often in modern times, but The Greatest Generation suffered loss mightily in World War II.
Veterans of both Korea and Vietnam saw loss, as did those involved in the first Gulf War.
Whatever your thoughts on war or politics, the uniform is worn by a person.
A mother, father, brother or sister.
Someone who was loved, and missed.
We should honor and remember them daily, but especially so today.
Sometimes words ring hollow, but when I tell a member of the military, "Thank you for your service," I mean it.
Having had the fortune to be on MWR—Morale, Welfare, and Recreation—tours in countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Qatar, Japan, South Korea, Guam, and Germany, was humbling.
Heartfelt conversations, the simple human contact of shaking hands, and even the awkward salute... they all are acknowledgement of sacrifice; the being far from family and loved ones.
Today is a painful reminder that not everyone comes home.
#memorialday #military #respect #honor #life #love
Daily Snark, 5/28/23
One of the most loaded statements a person can make is, "I'm not racist, but..."
Because you know some racist nonsense is about to spill out their mouth.
(I purposely left the "of" out of that sentence, because I'm using the cool, hip, vernacular of the day. Nifty, ain't it?)
Thankfully, I don't make racist statements, I ask what could be misconstrued as racist questions.
The media loves to point out differences in race, religion, sexuality, gender... anything and everything the media can do to get us pointing fingers at one another instead of treating one another as people deserving of love, respect, and compassion makes them money.
But what if a race-based question comes from genuine concern?
Or is that something white liberals do?
(Oh God, I hope not, because while I'm a Caucasian-American (if we're being politically correct), I'm not a liberal. At least, not in the modern sense. Traditional sense, maybe, but the modern left has lost its collective mind. Almost as much as the modern right, conservatives, has.)
The hottest topic when dealing with race is that involving police interactions with Black people.
Most notably white cops and young Black men.
What's to be done?
Why are you asking me? I'm just a comedian who has thoughts.
And this is just one question I'm looking to have answered...
#race #america #racism #question #thoughts #funny #police
One of the most loaded statements a person can make is, "I'm not racist, but..."
Because you know some racist nonsense is about to spill out their mouth.
(I purposely left the "of" out of that sentence, because I'm using the cool, hip, vernacular of the day. Nifty, ain't it?)
Thankfully, I don't make racist statements, I ask what could be misconstrued as racist questions.
The media loves to point out differences in race, religion, sexuality, gender... anything and everything the media can do to get us pointing fingers at one another instead of treating one another as people deserving of love, respect, and compassion makes them money.
But what if a race-based question comes from genuine concern?
Or is that something white liberals do?
(Oh God, I hope not, because while I'm a Caucasian-American (if we're being politically correct), I'm not a liberal. At least, not in the modern sense. Traditional sense, maybe, but the modern left has lost its collective mind. Almost as much as the modern right, conservatives, has.)
The hottest topic when dealing with race is that involving police interactions with Black people.
Most notably white cops and young Black men.
What's to be done?
Why are you asking me? I'm just a comedian who has thoughts.
And this is just one question I'm looking to have answered...
#race #america #racism #question #thoughts #funny #police
Story Time: Marriage Secrets, Revealed
Kids are little bundles of blunt honesty.
This can be a good thing in many situations.
Marriage involves a lot of trust to go with the love, and if you feel your spouse is being dishonest, a child can help you pierce the veil of illusion and see the truth.
By accident, my son blurted out something I found hilarious, and insightful.
I also realized I could weaponize him, if need be.
Relationships are the best, parenting is great, and children are hilarious.
#marriage #relationships #honesty #children #funny #story
Kids are little bundles of blunt honesty.
This can be a good thing in many situations.
Marriage involves a lot of trust to go with the love, and if you feel your spouse is being dishonest, a child can help you pierce the veil of illusion and see the truth.
By accident, my son blurted out something I found hilarious, and insightful.
I also realized I could weaponize him, if need be.
Relationships are the best, parenting is great, and children are hilarious.
#marriage #relationships #honesty #children #funny #story
Daily Snark 5/26/23 Ted Cruz to the Rescue!
I kept this local to Texas, discussing the border crisis, their housing shortage, failing power grid, and #2 ranking in the 2023 mass shootings in America list.
I could have thrown in their drought, education problems, and the fact they have so many people without health insurance, but I only have one minute when it comes to these things.
I also could have gone national, discussing the impending debt ceiling crisis, and probable credit defaults.
But, nope, I stayed Texas-local and only listed a few problems they were facing.
Because no mater what issues may arise, you can always count on Ted Cancun Cruz to deflect, ignore, and attempt to lay the blame elsewhere.
It's insane to think that Bud Light is still in the news, and it's even more insane to hear that a United States Senator wants to investigate a beer company, all because they tried to promote their product to transgender people.
(Ted is going at the "they're promoting it to underage kids!" angle, but that's a cover that only the stupidest of the stupid will believe. Just watch the comments an you'll see what I mean.)
Anyway, Ted Cruz is why problems never get solved.
And the public at large suffers because of it.
Of course, since the public votes for him, I guess Texas deserves it. The rest of the country is collateral damage. Lucky us.
#texas #politics #budlight #thoughts #controversy
I kept this local to Texas, discussing the border crisis, their housing shortage, failing power grid, and #2 ranking in the 2023 mass shootings in America list.
I could have thrown in their drought, education problems, and the fact they have so many people without health insurance, but I only have one minute when it comes to these things.
I also could have gone national, discussing the impending debt ceiling crisis, and probable credit defaults.
But, nope, I stayed Texas-local and only listed a few problems they were facing.
Because no mater what issues may arise, you can always count on Ted Cancun Cruz to deflect, ignore, and attempt to lay the blame elsewhere.
It's insane to think that Bud Light is still in the news, and it's even more insane to hear that a United States Senator wants to investigate a beer company, all because they tried to promote their product to transgender people.
(Ted is going at the "they're promoting it to underage kids!" angle, but that's a cover that only the stupidest of the stupid will believe. Just watch the comments an you'll see what I mean.)
Anyway, Ted Cruz is why problems never get solved.
And the public at large suffers because of it.
Of course, since the public votes for him, I guess Texas deserves it. The rest of the country is collateral damage. Lucky us.
#texas #politics #budlight #thoughts #controversy
