nadiaaddesi
Nadia Addesi
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Registered social worker & psychotherapist ❤️ nadia@select.co book a session👇🏻
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Follow @nadiaaddesi for more Losing attraction and passion happens even in the healthiest relationships. This cycle is natural in love, intimacy & attraction. Although, it is important to understand when it happens to gain control over it & not get lost in the “ebbs”
Psychologists & relationship experts John Gottman & Sue Johnson explain that disconnection isn’t uncommon in relationships. They believe that it’s important not to avoid these feelings, but instead lean into them as a way to turn them back on & explore how to re-spark and re-engage that passion. Losing attraction or feeling low in a relationship does not mean the relationship is going to fail. They explain that attraction often fades when there is not enough attention in the relationship.
Treat your relationship like a gas tank, and don’t allow it to run on empty, or super low. Check in with each other to figure out where it’s at & if it needs to be filled up.
Here are some ideas:
- being present & spending time with just each other (no phones or distractions)
- date night or day just the two of you
- Say I love you everyday
- Turn towards your partner for bids of connection (I have a previous video in this)
- Explore the ways in which you both want to display intimacy & make it priority
Disclaimer: this video does not apply to any forms of abuse or toxic relationships.
Inspiration- the amazing: @Anxious Love Coach ❤️
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd
Psychologists & relationship experts John Gottman & Sue Johnson explain that disconnection isn’t uncommon in relationships. They believe that it’s important not to avoid these feelings, but instead lean into them as a way to turn them back on & explore how to re-spark and re-engage that passion. Losing attraction or feeling low in a relationship does not mean the relationship is going to fail. They explain that attraction often fades when there is not enough attention in the relationship.
Treat your relationship like a gas tank, and don’t allow it to run on empty, or super low. Check in with each other to figure out where it’s at & if it needs to be filled up.
Here are some ideas:
- being present & spending time with just each other (no phones or distractions)
- date night or day just the two of you
- Say I love you everyday
- Turn towards your partner for bids of connection (I have a previous video in this)
- Explore the ways in which you both want to display intimacy & make it priority
Disclaimer: this video does not apply to any forms of abuse or toxic relationships.
Inspiration- the amazing: @Anxious Love Coach ❤️
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.
.
.
.
#mentalhealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional response triggered by perceived rejection or criticism. It can show up with people who have ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression & more. It often leads to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and emotional pain. It can also make us avoid social situations due to the fear of rejection.
How it can show up:
1. Hyper-Sensitivity: people with RSD may be highly in tune to any cues of rejection, even if they’re very subtle and not personal. This may cause a person to overanalyze conversations, body language, and interactions. A person with RSD might misinterpret neutral or positive signs as rejection,
2. Avoidance Behaviour: People with RSD as mentioned above may avoid social situations, or even relationships due to a rooted fear of rejection,.
3. Emotional Reactivity: Reactions to perceived rejection or criticism can be intense and overwhelming for someone with RSD. This may cause an individual to have a strong reaction to something that isn’t actually negative.
4. Negative Self-Perception: People with RSD might internalize rejections, leading to low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Tips to help:
1. Mindfulness and grounding : Mindfulness techniques are not always easy but they can help us become more aware of our emotional reactions while grounding us to learn how to stay present.
2. Become aware of our body and mind connection: By becoming more aware of our body’s cues and tensions associated with emotional distress, we can learn to understand when we’re getting triggered and why.
3. Regulating our Nervous System: Rejection sensitivity can activate the body's stress response and lead to heightened anxiety or other overwhelming emotions. Somatic exercises, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle movement, can help regulate the nervous system, allowing us to feel safe and in turn regulate our emotions surrounding the rejection.
Ib @Emma ✨ADHD | MH 🧠
How it can show up:
1. Hyper-Sensitivity: people with RSD may be highly in tune to any cues of rejection, even if they’re very subtle and not personal. This may cause a person to overanalyze conversations, body language, and interactions. A person with RSD might misinterpret neutral or positive signs as rejection,
2. Avoidance Behaviour: People with RSD as mentioned above may avoid social situations, or even relationships due to a rooted fear of rejection,.
3. Emotional Reactivity: Reactions to perceived rejection or criticism can be intense and overwhelming for someone with RSD. This may cause an individual to have a strong reaction to something that isn’t actually negative.
4. Negative Self-Perception: People with RSD might internalize rejections, leading to low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Tips to help:
1. Mindfulness and grounding : Mindfulness techniques are not always easy but they can help us become more aware of our emotional reactions while grounding us to learn how to stay present.
2. Become aware of our body and mind connection: By becoming more aware of our body’s cues and tensions associated with emotional distress, we can learn to understand when we’re getting triggered and why.
3. Regulating our Nervous System: Rejection sensitivity can activate the body's stress response and lead to heightened anxiety or other overwhelming emotions. Somatic exercises, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle movement, can help regulate the nervous system, allowing us to feel safe and in turn regulate our emotions surrounding the rejection.
Ib @Emma ✨ADHD | MH 🧠
Do you resonate with this?
Hypervigilance is when we are in a heightened state of stress because we are assessing for potential threats nearby. (Be mindful that hypervigilance is not just present in trauma but other experiences as well)
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #selfhelp #selflove #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhdtiktok
Hypervigilance is when we are in a heightened state of stress because we are assessing for potential threats nearby. (Be mindful that hypervigilance is not just present in trauma but other experiences as well)
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #selfhelp #selflove #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhdtiktok
If you are in a relationship where one partner wants to talk things out immediately, and the other person needs space to have a productive conversation later on, you are not alone. Many couples experience this, because our communication styles differ based on who we are. This can be a really challenging compromise, and in some cases results in either partner putting their needs aside to resolve the conflict, which unfortunately can lead to resentment and built up pain.
It’s a challenging cycle because the person trying to communicate in the moment, feels abandoned and alone. The person who needs space feels overwhelmed and controlled. It’s a cycle that doesn’t get resolved right away, and one that requires work.
One of my favourite tips I heard for people in relationships with someone they love is “always assume positive intent.” When you partner needs space, it’s because they want to calm down and have a productive conversation with you that leads to a resolution. When your partner wants to talk about it in the moment, it’s because they don’t enjoy the conflict and want to move on with you together. Both positive intentions, just communicated in different ways.
So, now what?
1. understand you partners reaction on a deeper level to build empathy. Maybe the person who needs space grew up in an environment where they got in trouble for having strong emotions, and they’re worried about expressing those in front of you. Maybe the person who needs to talk right now grew up with parents who would never communicate and had a relationship full of resentment. Talk it out!
2. Have conversations about conflict communication styles before an actual conflict. For example. “Just because I need space doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, I still love you and that’s the reason I take the space” then remind your partner of this in the argument
3. Compromise- this one is hard, but one of the only ways to end this cycle. What does space look like? What does talking about it now look like? Is there a middle ground. Can one partner go for a 15 minute walk and when they come back be ready to talk?
4. Gottman explains that changes must be driven by a desire to be a better partner. He explains that when a partner is willing to put in the work to change their approach, the relationship will change for the better.
Ib: @Emal
It’s a challenging cycle because the person trying to communicate in the moment, feels abandoned and alone. The person who needs space feels overwhelmed and controlled. It’s a cycle that doesn’t get resolved right away, and one that requires work.
One of my favourite tips I heard for people in relationships with someone they love is “always assume positive intent.” When you partner needs space, it’s because they want to calm down and have a productive conversation with you that leads to a resolution. When your partner wants to talk about it in the moment, it’s because they don’t enjoy the conflict and want to move on with you together. Both positive intentions, just communicated in different ways.
So, now what?
1. understand you partners reaction on a deeper level to build empathy. Maybe the person who needs space grew up in an environment where they got in trouble for having strong emotions, and they’re worried about expressing those in front of you. Maybe the person who needs to talk right now grew up with parents who would never communicate and had a relationship full of resentment. Talk it out!
2. Have conversations about conflict communication styles before an actual conflict. For example. “Just because I need space doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, I still love you and that’s the reason I take the space” then remind your partner of this in the argument
3. Compromise- this one is hard, but one of the only ways to end this cycle. What does space look like? What does talking about it now look like? Is there a middle ground. Can one partner go for a 15 minute walk and when they come back be ready to talk?
4. Gottman explains that changes must be driven by a desire to be a better partner. He explains that when a partner is willing to put in the work to change their approach, the relationship will change for the better.
Ib: @Emal
My main physical symptom of anxiety is shortness of breath(explanation as to why this happens below👇🏻) When this happens, I find myself yawning as a way to connect the breath and reassure myself that I can still breathe. It always comes up at the worst times 🙃
So, why do we experience physical symptoms with out anxiety?
When you experience stress or anxiety your fight or flight response is triggered because your brain is responding to a perceived threat. This response will activate your sympathetic nervous system and involuntary physical responses will take place as your body prepares to fight off or flee the threat.
Some examples include:
* Shortness of breath
* Throat feeling tight
* Pounding heart or increased heart rate.
* Sweating/ having a specific sweat smell.
* Trembling
* Headaches
* Stomach pain & digestive issues
* Struggling with sleep
* Muscle aches
* Chest pain
* Fatigue
How to help:
- focus on your senses- what’s around you that you can see, hear, smell?
- distract yourself, if safe, pull out a game or something on your phone to get your mind off your breath
- move your body! dance around, shake, walk etc
Ib: @alexa vanwinkle ❤️
So, why do we experience physical symptoms with out anxiety?
When you experience stress or anxiety your fight or flight response is triggered because your brain is responding to a perceived threat. This response will activate your sympathetic nervous system and involuntary physical responses will take place as your body prepares to fight off or flee the threat.
Some examples include:
* Shortness of breath
* Throat feeling tight
* Pounding heart or increased heart rate.
* Sweating/ having a specific sweat smell.
* Trembling
* Headaches
* Stomach pain & digestive issues
* Struggling with sleep
* Muscle aches
* Chest pain
* Fatigue
How to help:
- focus on your senses- what’s around you that you can see, hear, smell?
- distract yourself, if safe, pull out a game or something on your phone to get your mind off your breath
- move your body! dance around, shake, walk etc
Ib: @alexa vanwinkle ❤️
A parentified child is a child who is forced to act like an adult when they are still in their childhood. They tend to take on adult responsibilities for themselves, their siblings and often their parents.
In this example, the child is taking on the role of a therapist for their parent which makes them believe they have an overall responsibility for their parents emotional wellbeing. The loss of a childhood for anyone can be traumatic.
Signs you were parentified as a child:
- Often told you were “mature for your age”
- Pulled into arguments between parents
- Relied on for emotional support from parents
- Spend a big chunk of time taking care of others in your family
- Often feeling responsible for the feelings and wellbeing of others
- Lack of boundaries with family members
- The family peacekeeper
- No time to be a child or engage in child-like activities
- As a child you felt anxiety, guilt & shame
Reminder, for many families, parentification took place as a way to survive & stay safe. For example, language barriers, financial barriers, health issues and more ❤️
Ib: @kat victoria
In this example, the child is taking on the role of a therapist for their parent which makes them believe they have an overall responsibility for their parents emotional wellbeing. The loss of a childhood for anyone can be traumatic.
Signs you were parentified as a child:
- Often told you were “mature for your age”
- Pulled into arguments between parents
- Relied on for emotional support from parents
- Spend a big chunk of time taking care of others in your family
- Often feeling responsible for the feelings and wellbeing of others
- Lack of boundaries with family members
- The family peacekeeper
- No time to be a child or engage in child-like activities
- As a child you felt anxiety, guilt & shame
Reminder, for many families, parentification took place as a way to survive & stay safe. For example, language barriers, financial barriers, health issues and more ❤️
Ib: @kat victoria
TIPS HERE: A few months ago I got diagnosed with ADHD. After years of feeling confused and discouraged by my own behaviour and decisions, I was finally able to get some clarity.
On of the biggest thing I struggle with because of ADHD is executive dysfunction. I know I am not alone with this as executive dysfunction is a common challenge among those with ADHD. If you don’t already know, executive dysfunction disrupts the brain’s ability to regulate and manage higher-level functions. Sometimes it feels like what I said in this video, the desire to do things but feeling stuck.
For years I thought it was laziness & a lack of motivation but it’s not. People who struggle with this often:
- have time blindness
- have a hard time organizing their thoughts & actions
- struggle to start projects or complete projects
- feel unproductive
- procrastinate
- forget things easily
- dissociate
- struggle with mood
Note: this does not just apply to ADHD , but can also occur in other neurodevelopmental or neurological disorders.
Here are some tips I have been implementing to help myself & my clients:
1. Break all your tasks into smaller tasks. When I say small, I truly mean small such 5-10 minutes. Larger tasks overwhelm us, we need to make them seem more manageable.
2. Set visual reminders! Put sticky notes around, write things down on paper or even use the background of your home screen to remind you what you need to be done
3. Recently, we had @nasneuro on our podcast who gave the amazing suggestion of doing the most difficult or dreadful task first. Once you get this out of the way, the motivation will follow
4. Establish routines. I know, this is a common suggestion for ADHD but it’s for a reason. Having a consistent schedule can help reduce decision-making fatigue and increase productivity.
5. Have an accountability partner where you both check in one one another and hold each other accountable. This will help you have more of a reason to complete your tasks
6. Make sure your basics are taken care of. Ensure you’re sleeping, eating & moving your body!
Vc: @tahls 💫💕 ❤️
On of the biggest thing I struggle with because of ADHD is executive dysfunction. I know I am not alone with this as executive dysfunction is a common challenge among those with ADHD. If you don’t already know, executive dysfunction disrupts the brain’s ability to regulate and manage higher-level functions. Sometimes it feels like what I said in this video, the desire to do things but feeling stuck.
For years I thought it was laziness & a lack of motivation but it’s not. People who struggle with this often:
- have time blindness
- have a hard time organizing their thoughts & actions
- struggle to start projects or complete projects
- feel unproductive
- procrastinate
- forget things easily
- dissociate
- struggle with mood
Note: this does not just apply to ADHD , but can also occur in other neurodevelopmental or neurological disorders.
Here are some tips I have been implementing to help myself & my clients:
1. Break all your tasks into smaller tasks. When I say small, I truly mean small such 5-10 minutes. Larger tasks overwhelm us, we need to make them seem more manageable.
2. Set visual reminders! Put sticky notes around, write things down on paper or even use the background of your home screen to remind you what you need to be done
3. Recently, we had @nasneuro on our podcast who gave the amazing suggestion of doing the most difficult or dreadful task first. Once you get this out of the way, the motivation will follow
4. Establish routines. I know, this is a common suggestion for ADHD but it’s for a reason. Having a consistent schedule can help reduce decision-making fatigue and increase productivity.
5. Have an accountability partner where you both check in one one another and hold each other accountable. This will help you have more of a reason to complete your tasks
6. Make sure your basics are taken care of. Ensure you’re sleeping, eating & moving your body!
Vc: @tahls 💫💕 ❤️
