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Lucid Living with Bre


Become the best version of yourself in relationships www.brewolta.com

Save this for when you need to set a boundary and are scared to sh*t and feeling all the guilt.

You are worthy.

You deserve to feel internal peace above keeping external peace.

For more support around setting + holding boundaries, come to my ✨Confident Boundaries✨ sacred circle on Dec. 6th.

You'll experience:

✨ An understanding of the beliefs sabotaging your ability to hold confident boundaries in relationships

✨ Me (Bre!) leading you through EFT tapping as integrative embodiment work to help actually - not theoretically - identify and begin to clear what's keeping you stuck

✨ Nervous system regulation + nurturing

✨ A safe sisterhood of women coming together to heal that pesky my-needs-don't-matter wound and live out a new level of love

It is free, my gift to you. ❤️

We gather December 6th from 5:00-6:00pm MST and don't worry, the replay will be sent out if you can't make it live but this experience is one you'll want to make if you can.

Comment BOUNDARIES below for the link! ✨
People-pleasing used to be a superpower of mine.

Not to brag, but I was really f*cking good at it.

Everyone else's needs first? Done.

Boundary-less and making everyone happy? Yessir.

Chameleoning into whatever I needed to be in order to be chosen and accepted. Yeehaw!

Yet, what I saw as me being "nice" actually set me up for really painful relationships.

One toxic one in particular...

My low self confidence and people pleasing "superpowers" were like blood to the shark of my ex.

I was malleable and easily persuaded that everything was indeed my fault. I stuffed away my needs and feelings and walked on eggshells (people-pleasing him harder), in desperation to make the relationship feel better.

What I didn't know then, and want so badly for you to hear now, is that I couldn't have changed him or his abuse.

No matter how hard I tried.

But starting to take accountability for my people-pleasing part DID help me to learn to set boundaries and speak up against his gaslighting which helped me get away.

And finally heal.

Not only from him. But from a lifetime of patterns and beliefs that kept me clinging to unhealthy men.

Helping women make sense of the mindf*ck of confusing relationships and heal so that they can truly shift the way they experience relationships is something my soul came here to do.

And I would be so honored to guide you.

For the holidays, I'm offering a Holiday Promo of $200 off my private coaching program, Awakening. Message me for information. ❤️

Are you ready to change your superpowers?

I've got you. You've got this.
Don’t know how to sit with the fact you still miss him? Unsure if you can trust yourself to not go back?

Take a deep breath, babe.

Losses are hard.

And losing a person who occupied a place in your life, even though it was a toxic dynamic, doesn’t absolve you from the grief process.

In fact, our minds are trying so hard to protect us, that often we forget entirely just how bad it was.

We remember only the good times, and make excuses as to why, if we go back, it will be better.

Because accepting the reality of the end of something you fought so hard for f*cking HURTS.

So what do you do?

First, expect that you will feel this duality.

You will move through moments of pain where you can recognize you can never go back, and you will experience the nostalgia and heart wrenching sadness that it is over.

When you expect it, you can drop the judgements around yourself when it happens.

The key is to feel those feelings without letting that pain convince you that you need him in order to make it away.

Feeling the aloneness without reaching back out for the empty connection from him.

Feeling the sadness without texting him that you miss him.

It’s learning to comfort yourself so you can expand your capacity to feel without slipping into a reactionary behavior.

Because with each time YOU choose to show yourself that you’re worth choosing and loving, you deepen your relationship to yourself.

Because what you want from him will never actually come from him.

It is only our illusion that it will.

You WILL find yourself again. You will heal.

If you're ready to...

- Expand your capacity to sit with your feelings
- Truly heal from toxic and/or codependent relationships
- Rebuild your confidence
- Become secure within yourself so that you don't have to experience painful love again

I have one private coaching space open for my Awakening program, and it is ready for you.


Message me to schedule your first free session. I want to get to know you, and you me, so we can see if we are aligned to walk through this part of your journey together. No obligation, no pressure ❤️.
Let’s get this straight, not everyone who is self-absorbed and manipulative is a narcissist…

But, narcissistic abuse is real. And when you’ve experienced it, there’s no denying it.

Narcissistic abuse is insidious. It chips away your sense of self, your self-worth, and entire your understanding of what is real. It is confusing, painful and really f*cking scary.

On today's episode, you will hear from Brandi Babin, Habit + Productivity Strategist and Author of Reclaim: A Journey to Self Discovery about her experience of narcissistic and post-separation abuse, and how she has risen above.

She vulnerably shares her experience within the narcissism cycle, why the love bombing felt too euphoric to leave, how gaslighting felt believable, why she kept going back, and finally how she grieved not only her ex, but released and found peace with the woman she was.

She is the definition of bad-ass.

❤️ Download this episode on Spotify (and other major pod platforms), and if you've missed it, my new podcast 🎧 Lucid Living with Bre: Learn to Live + Love Awake went live last week!

New episodes drop every Friday 🫶🏻

Listen for:

✨ Love bombing vs. falling in love (how to tell the difference)

✨ Signs of being gaslit and why it makes you feel so crazy

✨ Why she went back to him several times when she knew she shouldn't

✨ Why we give narcissists the benefit of the doubt

✨ How we confuse manipulation for vulnerability with a narcissist

✨ How to know when you are ready to leave

✨ Post-separation abuse and how she navigated leaving with children

✨ The nuances in grieving a toxic relationship

✨ How to feel feelings + take action steps to heal (you can too!)

✨ Her
#1 way to get to know yourself again

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissismsurvivor #narcissist #healingfromnarcissisticrelationship #toxicrelationship
Here 👇🏻

To start a relationship hot and heavy with someone who feels like your soulmate, only to then be slowly discarded, is incredibly painful.

Clients often come to me unable to identify where things started going wrong, totally beside themselves as to why they are no longer feeling desired or wanted.

The relationship they thought they had with their forever person turned into a minefield of rageful fighting and unhappiness.

And they feel like it’s all their fault.

Running through scenarios of what they did wrong or how to fix their attachment style in order to fix the relationship 😳.

And the more they try to bring issues to the table, the father away they are pushed.

Because often in relationships with someone who is narcissistic, the other person is not interested in looking at themselves or healing the relationship.

They discard you and move on. And that’s a VERY shitty experience.

Being pushed away by your partner like this can feel outright baffling.🤯

And if they have circled back to confess their ‘true love’ to you, and promise you the world...only to push you back out...it can be damn near unfathomable.

If you are experiencing this, you don’t have to try to figure it out alone.❤️

In fact, what you are trying to figure out (his behavior) isn’t the place I would recommend expending your energy.

You can gain clarity, but it will come from looking within YOU, and maybe not in the way you think it would...

If you are tired of feeling exhausted, unwanted, and bewildered there is hope.

✨ You CAN let go, heal, and stop going back into the toxic spin cycle.

✨ You CAN learn to trust again.

✨ You CAN stand for what you truly deserve.

And get it.

I’ve seen many clients reclaim clarity and move out of soul sucking relationships by choosing to turn their attention back to themselves and their healing.

If you are ready for the support that can take you out of toxicity and into the healthiest and best version of you, I have ✨one space open✨ for my private coaching program, Awakening.

Message me for details ❤️
❤️ Download this episode on Spotify to listen to this real and raw conversation on my Lucid Living with Bre podcast. You don’t want to miss this.

@Stacey Embers is a lightworker who found recovery from drugs, alcohol, sex + love, and codependency addictions, and now experiences living as her most authentic self. Hear how she moved through years of self-abandonment and shame in unhealthy relationships and has now learned how to reconnect to her intuition, build trust back with herself, feel feelings instead of analyzing them, and go inward despite the discomforting process of self-work. Oh, yeah and how being playful keeps her sane.

Listen for:

✨ How to become discerning so you don't self-abandon

✨ Parts work + building trust with your parts

✨ Finding your people and the importance of taking them off pedestals

✨ How she found recovery from drug, alcohol, sex + love, and codependency addictions

✨ What being sober vs. being in recovery means

✨ Meditation + spirituality tips

✨ How to sit in discomfort so you don't slip into victim mentality

I’ll see you every Friday for new episode drops! Follow my podcast on Spotify (and click the bell 🔔) to be notified, so you never miss a thing!

If you aren’t on my email list, get on there too because I will send out reminders every week! Comment EMAIL below and I’ll reach out to you ❤️
Save this, share this - you are not alone. ❤️

Before I truly could see the toxicity I was in, I was in a fog.

Confused, afraid, second-guessing what I knew to be true, embarrassed and drowning in a sea of guilt.

I’d lost my sense of self in every way. Hopelessness was present, but I still fought myself and didn’t want to see what reality I was really in with my ex.

So if you’re there, I offer you these 3 things that I needed to hear:

✨1. You aren’t crazy.

Those fights that you get into where you leave feeling more confused than clear…those mornings that you wake up and he acts as if nothing happened…well, you aren’t losing your mind. Gaslighting is a tactic that narcissistic people use to deflect or avoid blame. They make you believe what happened didn’t happen and cut off your intuition in the process.

✨2. Everything isn’t your fault and nothing is wrong with you.

If you are conveniently to blame for EVERYTHING, then your partner never has to take accountability (and likely never will). If he reiterates that you are soooo needy, too emotional, and makes it seem like you are the one always making up problems, OF COURSE you start to believe it and do everything you can to “fix yourself”. And I’m here to tell you that it is bullshit. You may bring unhealthy patterns, but I can 100% guarantee that you aren’t 100% at fault.

✨3. Healthy relationships don’t feel like this.

I didn’t have a good grasp on what “healthy” felt like. So, I’ll tell you what it’s not: Being yelled at, verbally abused, or touched in anyway without your consent. Being guilt tripped into cancelling plans with family and friends. Being lied to, betrayed, and told that you are making it up. Having your vulnerabilities used against you. Feeling so anxious and lost that you don’t know who you are anymore. Cringing at the sound of the garage door opening. Having your feelings dismissed or laughed at. Walking on eggshells out of fear. And feeling fear, period.

If you need help making sense and healing from something that feels like a mindf*ck of an experience, I’m here. DM me. You aren’t alone.❤️
Towards the end of my toxic relationship I was in a fog. 

Hopeless, anxious, and unsure what was even real (aside from the very real shame and confusion I felt).

When I look back on my self then, I have such immense compassion because I’ve now finally found the truth of who I am.

I’ve found clarity and integrated my suffering. 

And I can see the pain she was in and how she was using the tools she had (albeit maladaptive) to do the best she could.

Choosing to learn and grow from painful experiences takes serious courage. 💪🏻

Choosing to become the best version of yourself with the intention to NEVER go back into the madness and pain of chaotic relationships is life changing work.

So if you are in a similar place to where I was, confused on how to move forward, I offer you these bites of wisdom that came from my experience:

1. Relationships don’t have to be HARD

2. The relief that came from my constant anxiety outweighed the fear of being alone forever

3. I could never have loved my ex into his potential

4. I wasn’t crazy, I was manipulated

5. My intuition had always been right

6. I wasn’t too needy

7. I am capable of securely attaching to someone who has also done their work (and spoiler...healthy men EXIST!)

8. It is possible to learn how to speak my needs and get them met (even with a lifetime of never doing so)

9. I would find myself and my light again even though I felt like I’d lost her forever

Yes, leaving is hard. 

And staying is also hard.

The decision is yours, and all I can do is offer the truth to what I never believed was possible.

Healthy love exists and you don’t have to settle. ❤️

I stand for you. And until you can hold the reality of a confident, self-assured, strong badass self, I will hold it for you.

Always in your corner.

If you have integrated your experience, what else would you add to this list?

Post below! 👇🏻
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