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Child Development PhD Parenting Unpacked Podcast Autistic Aussie Mama 🤰🏻



The baby we spent about 12 seconds deciding we would try for, which instantly appeared on a positive test only days later and who we thought we might never want to have after such a difficult experience our first time around, has now passed some invisible, socially normative, milestone where it is now appropriate to share publicly.  Only… you’ve all know about this little one for 6 weeks now. You’ve watched as I struggled through fears about miscarriage and simultaneous relief at the thought of one. You’ve watched covid crash tackle me from 7 to 9 weeks. You’ve watched me bedridden with nausea, migraines and low blood pressure. You’ve watched my daughter learn she was going to have a little brother. You were right there with me celebrating every little milestone (both my babies and all of your babies on the way as well - they do say September is the busiest birth month and I can see why!) I’ve had to hide nothing and it was so beautifully liberating to be honest with everyone around me.  Instead of being cloistered in quiet, fear and shame, I got the support I needed. I heard the voices I needed. I had less fear, less anxiety and less pressure. I had more compassion for myself because I didn’t have to carry on with a facade of normalcy while my body was pushed beyond its limits to build the entire foundation of a human.  I knew the risks of sharing early, but I also knew I would need you all if any of those risks came to be. If I suffered an early miscarriage, I’d need to talk about it, share my story and know I wasn’t alone. If my unborn baby had a genetic anomaly incompatible with life, I would have needed support, people to lean on. I would have needed people to grieve with.  It’s not just me that would have needed this support. All parents who travel hard roads to parenthood need that support l. They need to have felt the love and joy in celebrating a little life they created, no matter how long it was. Keeping pregnancy a secret until it “sticks” is detrimental to mental health. It prevents a celebration of life in the 1 in 4 parents who experience a loss. It prevents the supports needed to survive the brutally hard first trimester.
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