diaryofanhonestmom
Elizabeth Ward
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Maternal wellness advocate who dances poorly & might make you cry Moms Matter
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Are you a highly sensitive empath or someone who’s lived through traumatic or manipulative relationships?
I used to think I was just more empathetic than others. I just cared more.
Turns out I was conditioned to care more ‘cause if I didn’t, life would be made harder for me.
One of my main goals at a mom is to make sure my children feel safe to feel & express themselves without fear of my reaction. They are not responsible for me. It is not their job to regulate me. They should not live in fear of me.
Do we need to teach our kids to be aware of how their actions impact others & build compassion? Of course.
But there’s a fine line between that & conditioning our kids to take on responsibility for our feelings & subsequently the feelings of everyone in every room they walk into as their life progresses.
I’m working on my people pleasing, but let me tell you, it’s work. It’s not work I want my kid’s to have to do either.
#motherhood #parenting #highlysensitiveperson #empath #traumahealing #peoplepleasers
I used to think I was just more empathetic than others. I just cared more.
Turns out I was conditioned to care more ‘cause if I didn’t, life would be made harder for me.
One of my main goals at a mom is to make sure my children feel safe to feel & express themselves without fear of my reaction. They are not responsible for me. It is not their job to regulate me. They should not live in fear of me.
Do we need to teach our kids to be aware of how their actions impact others & build compassion? Of course.
But there’s a fine line between that & conditioning our kids to take on responsibility for our feelings & subsequently the feelings of everyone in every room they walk into as their life progresses.
I’m working on my people pleasing, but let me tell you, it’s work. It’s not work I want my kid’s to have to do either.
#motherhood #parenting #highlysensitiveperson #empath #traumahealing #peoplepleasers
Maintaining regulation during such social interactions it’s like an Olympic sport.
When you have got a parent who is toxic It feels like there’s no winning.
Your are either headfirst into an enmeshed codependent relationship where they control every single interaction and send you for a tailspin…
or you are aware of their shenanigans, and try to maintain a relationship for certain reasons but have to spend exuberant amounts of energy creating and maintaining boundaries so they don’t suck at life out of you or hurt you and the ones you love like they used to.
Or it gets to the point that you have to go no contact with them and even though it may be the right decision for your family it’s still incredibly hard to grieve a parent who is still alive .
The long and short of it is that no matter what you choose, it’s hard.
And that just sucks, especially when you see others with relatively healthy parent relationships, who they can rely on for support, encouragement, and healthy life lessons.
If this is you, I see you, I am you & sometimes we can just say- it sucks.
#cyclebreaker #toxicrelationships #toxicmom #codependency #narcissisticabuse #cyclebreakers
When you have got a parent who is toxic It feels like there’s no winning.
Your are either headfirst into an enmeshed codependent relationship where they control every single interaction and send you for a tailspin…
or you are aware of their shenanigans, and try to maintain a relationship for certain reasons but have to spend exuberant amounts of energy creating and maintaining boundaries so they don’t suck at life out of you or hurt you and the ones you love like they used to.
Or it gets to the point that you have to go no contact with them and even though it may be the right decision for your family it’s still incredibly hard to grieve a parent who is still alive .
The long and short of it is that no matter what you choose, it’s hard.
And that just sucks, especially when you see others with relatively healthy parent relationships, who they can rely on for support, encouragement, and healthy life lessons.
If this is you, I see you, I am you & sometimes we can just say- it sucks.
#cyclebreaker #toxicrelationships #toxicmom #codependency #narcissisticabuse #cyclebreakers
The mental load has been breaking me lately.
We’ve always shared home & childcare things but this particular thing has always been mainly my responsibility.
Last weekend we renegotiated what things we both should hold responsibility for. A lot of the day to day “grind” comes down to me as I am the one home more.
But we decided that my husband could take over booking things for the kids, keeping track of their extracurriculars and other administrative tasks. Not having to think about it so much has been a game changer.
I can’t believe how good it feels to not having to think so hard and have it linger over me.
Obviously I still KNOW whats going on and I have to take them places etc. But not being responsible for making sure all the boxes are checked, forms are signs and details are communicated is so wonderful.
Did I have to let go of some control? Yes. Did we have to agree on expectations? Yes. Was it hard? Yes.
But I am glad we did.
I am not sharing to brag. I’m simply sharing to say that all that stuff is a lot of work and finding ways not to hav to do it ALL on your own in a way that works for your family is worth it.
Highly recommend👌
#mentalload #mentalloadexplained #motherload #invisibleload #closethechoregap #momlife #momtruth #honestmom 👌
We’ve always shared home & childcare things but this particular thing has always been mainly my responsibility.
Last weekend we renegotiated what things we both should hold responsibility for. A lot of the day to day “grind” comes down to me as I am the one home more.
But we decided that my husband could take over booking things for the kids, keeping track of their extracurriculars and other administrative tasks. Not having to think about it so much has been a game changer.
I can’t believe how good it feels to not having to think so hard and have it linger over me.
Obviously I still KNOW whats going on and I have to take them places etc. But not being responsible for making sure all the boxes are checked, forms are signs and details are communicated is so wonderful.
Did I have to let go of some control? Yes. Did we have to agree on expectations? Yes. Was it hard? Yes.
But I am glad we did.
I am not sharing to brag. I’m simply sharing to say that all that stuff is a lot of work and finding ways not to hav to do it ALL on your own in a way that works for your family is worth it.
Highly recommend👌
#mentalload #mentalloadexplained #motherload #invisibleload #closethechoregap #momlife #momtruth #honestmom 👌
You deserve to be well and your kids deserve that version of you too.
I waited until I thought “I can’t do this anymore” before I went to see someone. I was afraid of a lot. I was afraid of wasting people’s time. I was afraid I didn’t actually need mental health care and wondered if I was just lazy. I was afraid it wouldn’t work anyways. I was so afraid of getting help, but after getting the help I needed I only wish got help earlier.
It’s possible to get feel better and the APAF has created a resource to help you find what can get you back on the right track.
See how mental health care can work for you at mentalhealthcareworks.org
If you have struggled and got help before, what would you tell yourself back then?
#MentalHealthCareWorks
#APAFPartner
#mentalhealthisreal #maternalmentalhealth #mentalload #invisibleload #momtruth #honestmom #motherhoodishard #motherhoodjourney
I waited until I thought “I can’t do this anymore” before I went to see someone. I was afraid of a lot. I was afraid of wasting people’s time. I was afraid I didn’t actually need mental health care and wondered if I was just lazy. I was afraid it wouldn’t work anyways. I was so afraid of getting help, but after getting the help I needed I only wish got help earlier.
It’s possible to get feel better and the APAF has created a resource to help you find what can get you back on the right track.
See how mental health care can work for you at mentalhealthcareworks.org
If you have struggled and got help before, what would you tell yourself back then?
#MentalHealthCareWorks
#APAFPartner
#mentalhealthisreal #maternalmentalhealth #mentalload #invisibleload #momtruth #honestmom #motherhoodishard #motherhoodjourney
Every household is different.
I get that.
IMO, as long as both partners are getting an equal opportunity to do things that make them THEM, do what works for you.
We all need, rest, breaks, connection, fun and a chance not to feel responsible. When you are in a partnership you both help one another get those things- no matter who brings home the bacon.
(Also shoutout to the single parents who don’t ever get that)
But too many women don’t get the chance to do it as much as their husbands because they have too much to think about and DO.
Yes, having my husband cook once in a while is nice, but whats fantastic is having him take all the mental work and prep out of a meal too.
As a society I DO think we are getting better. Dads are so much more than they were historically, but theres still a lot of inequality at home and I hope we can continue to make progress. Shoutout to the dads doing the things, we value you!
#motherhood #momlife #defaultparent #mentalload #equalityathome #maternalwellness #momsgetit #momtruth #relatablemom
I get that.
IMO, as long as both partners are getting an equal opportunity to do things that make them THEM, do what works for you.
We all need, rest, breaks, connection, fun and a chance not to feel responsible. When you are in a partnership you both help one another get those things- no matter who brings home the bacon.
(Also shoutout to the single parents who don’t ever get that)
But too many women don’t get the chance to do it as much as their husbands because they have too much to think about and DO.
Yes, having my husband cook once in a while is nice, but whats fantastic is having him take all the mental work and prep out of a meal too.
As a society I DO think we are getting better. Dads are so much more than they were historically, but theres still a lot of inequality at home and I hope we can continue to make progress. Shoutout to the dads doing the things, we value you!
#motherhood #momlife #defaultparent #mentalload #equalityathome #maternalwellness #momsgetit #momtruth #relatablemom
We are tired of the double standards and I for one have been feeling them a lot lately.
My kindness has been taken advantage of.
My leadership has been undermined.
My trust has been broken, I have been taken advantage of and then gaslit into thinking it’s my fault.
My worth has questioned.
As a mom, as a business owner, as a friend, as a daughter, as a woman… it sometimes just feels like it’s never enough. But we are enough.
And it’s not just men who do this to women. It’s other women too. I am no longer surprised by how other women tear each other down.
When I saw @Barbie Movie for the first time earlier this summer I left feeling so seen as a woman and while it continues to be hard, the camaraderie and empowerment that movie has given us as women I believe to be one of the most special things to come out of 2023.
There’s lots of us who are committed to making things better for women and standing in confidence about who we are and what we are about. Let’s not stop. I do think we are getting somewhere. But holy hell it’s hard.
Thanks for the gifted @Dyson
Airwrap Multi-Styler Complete which may or may not be completing my life. YOU CAN DO SO MANY THINGS WITH IT AND I AM JUST GETTING STARTED.
#gifted #dysonairwrap #thebarbiemovie #gloriasspeech #motherhood #womanhood #GRWM #hairthings #womenempowerment #womensworth #feminism #feministmom #momtruth #yearofthebarbie #momsgetit
My kindness has been taken advantage of.
My leadership has been undermined.
My trust has been broken, I have been taken advantage of and then gaslit into thinking it’s my fault.
My worth has questioned.
As a mom, as a business owner, as a friend, as a daughter, as a woman… it sometimes just feels like it’s never enough. But we are enough.
And it’s not just men who do this to women. It’s other women too. I am no longer surprised by how other women tear each other down.
When I saw @Barbie Movie for the first time earlier this summer I left feeling so seen as a woman and while it continues to be hard, the camaraderie and empowerment that movie has given us as women I believe to be one of the most special things to come out of 2023.
There’s lots of us who are committed to making things better for women and standing in confidence about who we are and what we are about. Let’s not stop. I do think we are getting somewhere. But holy hell it’s hard.
Thanks for the gifted @Dyson
Airwrap Multi-Styler Complete which may or may not be completing my life. YOU CAN DO SO MANY THINGS WITH IT AND I AM JUST GETTING STARTED.
#gifted #dysonairwrap #thebarbiemovie #gloriasspeech #motherhood #womanhood #GRWM #hairthings #womenempowerment #womensworth #feminism #feministmom #momtruth #yearofthebarbie #momsgetit
#stitch with @Mario Mirante The irony of how triggered this guy and so many others get when a mom is triggered is not lost on me. Screaming at our kids for wanting our attention is unhealthy, yes. Childless adults Screaming at the internet or at moms for not “being good ones” is also unhealthy. When you aren’t caring for kids 24/7 you get to do what you need to do to deal with your mental health and the other stresses in your life. Parents, don’t. Say what you want but if you have no lived it you do not and can not understand. If we want to see others do better, it starts with us. Shame never creates sustainable change. We can hold people accountable and point out the need for change while also having empathy at the same time. I promise you that yelling at the internet is not going to make one mother less stressed or more capable of carrying the unbearable load of motherhood. Especially during the difficult times so many are facing right now. We need big systemic change, and a lot of it. #cyclebreaker #parenting #conciousparenting #perfectmothermyth #motherhood #overstimulatedmom #cyclebreakers #traumahealing #momsgetit #parentingishard #honestmom
⬇️Why you should go to Michigan
It’s entirely underestimated.
#PureMichiganPartner
As parents, we really needed to get away to recharge for a few days and honestly there are only so many times we can visit the same places near where we live. So when we started looking into the options, we were surprised to learn how many great things Michigan has to offer.
1. Detroit has so much. Restaurants, culture, nightlife, sporting events, live music, Belle Isle and other pretty places to hike & spend outdoors. Seriously, whatever you are into, you will find something. I will certainly be going back- especially for the live Piano Bar. Yes I sang at it. Oh and @SoakSpaDet, just divine.
2. Michigan’s Thumbcoast region along Lake Huron just feels like home, but with so much more to offer. There were so many sweet beach towns with shopping, restaurants, outdoor activities, water sports and plenty more to enjoy at a slower space.
Even though Greg and I went with the intention of rejuvenating- which we did- I left thinking I would come back again to do that AND also to come for a fun girls trip or a family getaway.
Whether you’re looking for quiet natural beauty or vibrant cities, there is a lot to find in Michigan.
Follow @puremichigan for more inspiration.
Goodness me I am grateful to relax and recharge once in a while.
Anyone else?
@puremichigan @visitdetroit @discovertheblue.mi.thumbcoast #VisitDetroit #DepicttheD #downtowndetroit #PureMichigan #DiscoverTheBlueWaterArea #ThumbCoast #DiscoverPortAustin #DiscoverPortHuron #MarineCityMichigan #LexingtonMI #StClairMichigan
It’s entirely underestimated.
#PureMichiganPartner
As parents, we really needed to get away to recharge for a few days and honestly there are only so many times we can visit the same places near where we live. So when we started looking into the options, we were surprised to learn how many great things Michigan has to offer.
1. Detroit has so much. Restaurants, culture, nightlife, sporting events, live music, Belle Isle and other pretty places to hike & spend outdoors. Seriously, whatever you are into, you will find something. I will certainly be going back- especially for the live Piano Bar. Yes I sang at it. Oh and @SoakSpaDet, just divine.
2. Michigan’s Thumbcoast region along Lake Huron just feels like home, but with so much more to offer. There were so many sweet beach towns with shopping, restaurants, outdoor activities, water sports and plenty more to enjoy at a slower space.
Even though Greg and I went with the intention of rejuvenating- which we did- I left thinking I would come back again to do that AND also to come for a fun girls trip or a family getaway.
Whether you’re looking for quiet natural beauty or vibrant cities, there is a lot to find in Michigan.
Follow @puremichigan for more inspiration.
Goodness me I am grateful to relax and recharge once in a while.
Anyone else?
@puremichigan @visitdetroit @discovertheblue.mi.thumbcoast #VisitDetroit #DepicttheD #downtowndetroit #PureMichigan #DiscoverTheBlueWaterArea #ThumbCoast #DiscoverPortAustin #DiscoverPortHuron #MarineCityMichigan #LexingtonMI #StClairMichigan
